


Why would he do that?

by velocitygrass



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: M/M, Matchmaking, Sleeping Bag Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-07-30
Updated: 2008-07-30
Packaged: 2018-02-16 00:51:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2249742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/velocitygrass/pseuds/velocitygrass
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ronon has enough of John and Rodney dancing around each other, so he arranges that they're stranded off-world with just one sleeping bag.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why would he do that?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [purelyironic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/purelyironic/gifts).



> Written for purelyironic for the Pay It Forward Meme. Inspired about a discussion about matchmaking Ronon that we had.

"Next time you remember some ancient ruin from your time as a runner, do us all a favor and simply forget about it."

"McKay, let it go," John said, walking next to Rodney.

"Why? He's getting me all excited, hell, he's even carrying extra supplies in case we want to stay longer and it turns out to be so useless that not even our anthropologists would be interested. _Anthropologists_." It didn't get more useless than that.

Ronon kept walking in front of them, obviously not minding that they'd spent hours digging through some ruins only to come up with nothing but dirt.

"Teyla must have known what a waste this would be," Rodney continued.

"Torren is running a fever," John pointed out.

"Well, then _he_ must have known."

John rolled his eyes. Ronon started to walk faster.

"What now?" Rodney couldn't see anything ahead of them except for the gate at a distance.

He looked at John, who frowned and checked the area, then shrugged.

Ronon turned and smiled at them and then started to run.

"God, what is _up_ with him today," Rodney asked. "He's been entirely too happy for the whole mission."

Up ahead Ronon reached the gate and dialed.

"If he thinks I'm running, he's so wrong. Do you hear that?" Rodney shouted the last, making John move his head away and clear his ear.

The event horizon formed. Rodney expected Ronon to just step through, since he'd apparently made it his mission to be as annoying as humanly possible today.

Instead Rodney watched him drop down the backpack he'd been carrying and crouching next to the DHD.

"What is he..."

"Ronon?" John shouted, walking faster.

Ronon straightened, held up something that Rodney couldn't quite see from the distance, but he still started running together with John.

Ronon smiled and waved. "You can thank me later," he called out to them and then he stepped through the gate which shut down, just as John and Rodney arrived.

"What the hell is he talking about?" Rodney asked, trying to dial out again.

The gate didn't react. "Oh no."

"McKay?" John said in his 'Please tell me what's going on and make it better than what it sounds like' voice.

Rodney crouched down and opened the panel. Of course.

"He's removed the control crystal. We're completely stuck," he said exasperated. Then he straightened. "Oh God. You don't think he's possessed, do you? He wouldn't leave us here to be fed on by Wraith or something. What if he's secretly still a Wraith worshipper. He could have just played—"

"Rodney!" John interrupted him sharply.

"What?!"

"That was months ago, plus if he wanted to hurt us, I don't think he'd have left us with supplies." John pointed at the backpack, where Rodney could see some MREs and a sleeping bag.

Rodney grabbed the backpack and emptied its contents. Half a dozen MREs, a medical kit, some powerbars and a single sleeping bag.

Rodney glared at John. "What the hell is wrong with him?"

"Don't look at me! I tought this was just another mission."

"Oh yes, except for the part where the actual mission seems to be to _dump_ us on some dirty piece of rock. I can't believe he did that."

"Can you fix the DHD?" John asked.

Rodney shook his head. "That's the other thing. Most of the crystals in the DHD can be worked around relatively easily, if you just take a single one, but the control crystal? He knew exactly what he was doing. He must have asked Zelenka. Seriously. Why would he do that? What possible purpose could it have to let us rot here for a few days?"

"Oh boy," John said, looking at the contents of the backpack.

"What?" Rodney asked. Because any sort of explanation, especially if it included a way out would be very welcome.

"Nothing," John said, covering his face and sighing.

"Come on. Any kind of insight would be good. Even if it's bad." More quietly, Rodney added, "Is it bad?"

John removed the hand from his face. "I think he'll get us in a day or two," he said.

"But _why_ did he do it in the first place? Is this some kind of Satedan ritual? Survive three nights in the desert with nothing but... well, a sleeping bag and food."

"Yes, Rodney, I bet that's it," John said sarcastically. "Also you forgot the woods and the river."

"Okay, so it's a fucking _paradise_!" Rodney threw up his hands. "I still don't get why he would _do_ something like this."

John put the contents of the backpack back inside.

"What are you doing?" Rodney asked.

"There was a good spot by the river. We can make a fire and the woods are nearby in case it rains."

"So that's it?!"

"What do you want me to do, Rodney? Flap my wings and _fly_ away?"

Rodney crossed his arms and pouted.

"Come on, it's not far," John said, lifting the backpack.

Rodney huffed, but when John started to go, he followed.

~~

"I still don't get _why_ he did it," Rodney said around a mouthful of spaghetti.

John wished they were back at the ruins so that he could _bash his head into a crumbling wall_.

"Rodney," John said. He was _this_ close to _begging_ him to stop.

"Come on. I don't claim to know what goes on under that mix of dreads and knifes, but this _is_ weird."

They were sitting around the fire, eating MREs. Rodney had kept bitching all the way and through finding some wood and arranging the fireplace. And John kept wondering when he'd finally come back to the fact that Ronon had left only _one_ sleeping bag for them on what promised to become a relatively chilly night.

"I mean it's really too comfortable for a warrior ritual and for vacation—if he maybe wanted to do us some good—it's really not comfortable enough." Rodney looked up from the spaghetti to John. "You don't think Ronon thinks that this is _fun_ for us?" he asked doubtfully. "I mean he _did_ say we could thank him later. Maybe this is what Satedans do for vacation."

John stared at him. "Vacation," he repeated blankly.

"Yes, I've heard stories about parents dragging their kids camping. Not my parents, thank God, but it's been known to happen, even on Earth. Although the Satedans apparently don't believe in tents." Rodney moved a bit closer to the fire. "Maybe we should get out the sleeping bag?"

He started pulling it out of the backpack and John waited for the penny to drop.

"Really, he could have thought of getting us two sleeping bags, if he went through all the trouble," Rodney began again.

John got up. He couldn't stay there a second longer. "I'll just go freshen up," he said and quickly walked away.

The night was rapidly cooling down. Soon they'd be snuggled up in _one_ sleeping bag together and maybe then Rodney would finally _get_ it.

And if John survived the humiliation he was going to kill Ronon. Very dead.

Just one little slip, although it wasn't even a slip. He'd just been too surprised to say anything when Ronon had said, "So, the reason you're not dating anyone... McKay, right?" John had just stared and stuttered, and Ronon had nodded understandingly and since then he'd made vague references and encouraged him to take a chance.

John would have asked him to stop if he wasn't determined to never ever discuss this.

But this time Ronon had taken things too far. John wasn't sure how he was going to survive squirming alongside Rodney into the sleeping bag. And he couldn't give him any reason not to share, since apparently Rodney didn't think it out of the ordinary. Except of course that he couldn't imagine why Ronon would do something like this. Even though just two weeks ago, Ronon had point blank asked if he'd ever had sex with a guy. John had tripped and fallen and Rodney never got to answer the question, too absorbed in making fun of him.

John splashed his face with some water of the river. It was getting dark. There was no visible moon, although the night was clear. He'd have to go back to their little "camp" before Rodney got worried.

John tried to prepare himself for Rodney's reaction if he found out—and John didn't doubt that he would, at the latest when Ronon returned and they were still just friends. Hopefully they'd still be friends.

John shook his head and walked back.

Rodney was already in the sleeping bag when he returned.

"I added some more branches to the fire. I don't think there's an actual chance of us freezing to death, but it will still be cold outside of this."

Right. The sleeping bag, which he was probably going to get into. John had the vague hope that Rodney might be selfish and ask John to stay where he was, warmed by the fire, or maybe he would suggest taking turns.

"It's going to be tight, but we should be able to fit both of us in here."

John was glad that it was too dark for his flush to be visible.

He gave in to his fate and walked towards the sleeping bag, removing his vest, knife and thigh holster.

Rodney tried to move to the side and looked at him almost invitingly. God help him.

John removed his boots and slid feet first into the sleeping bag, touching Rodney along the way, because there was no other way. Rodney looked at him and his face was glowing in the firelight. John concentrated on making it all the way in—and he mustn't make any connotations—until he was settled snug against Rodney.

After a few breaths he realized that he was so tense about how Rodney would react that he didn't actually react in any way that Rodney was bound to notice. Maybe it would work out okay after all.

The moment he thought it, Rodney opened his mouth. "This is... I mean Ronon must have known how tight this would be. I wonder what he thinks we're doing here. We're good friends, but this is sort of pushing it and I'm not sure why he'd want to encourage us to—"

"Oh for God's sake, McKay!" John finally groused.

"What?!" Rodney asked back, right into John's face, just inches from his.

"You can be so..." John trailed off, looking up into the sky.

"I can be what? Sheppard? It's not like you can escape."

"Oblivious," John said, glaring at Rodney.

Rodney frowned. "What is _that_ supposed to mean?" he asked.

"Just go to bed, okay. Maybe he'll pick us up tomorrow."

John resolutely closed his eyes and tried to imagine the many ways he'd kill Ronon dead.

"Oblivious?" Rodney murmured. "Excuse me, but I don't see anything obvious about trapping two guys together on a planet with _one_ sleeping bag. Unless it's some cheap gay porn movie, although the sleeping bag would defeat the purpose of seeing what they're up to, so I guess it would only serve as the way to get them to—"

And yeah, there it was. John tried to hold onto his frustration, because he was _not_ thinking about Rodney talking about _gay_ porn. It didn't have to mean anything.

"What," Rodney said eventually, shoving at John's shoulder. Apparently he actually wanted to discuss it.

John opened his eyes, only to look straight into Rodney's frowning face. "But why would he _do_ that?" he asked.

"Because he thinks I... have a thing for you." John said it in pure self-defense. If Rodney started the 'But why?' game again, he would kill him or possibly himself or both. Plus, maybe he could convince Rodney that Ronon was wrong.

John dared a look in Rodney's direction. Rodney's eyes had gotten very big. "He thinks you... But that's crazy."

John looked at him and in that first moment he felt hurt and the need to say 'It's not crazy at all' and kiss Rodney. Then his brain kicked in and told him that this was the perfect opportunity for denial, except that he was about as successful as with Ronon, which was to say not at all.

"Oh wow," Rodney said, before John could say ' _Totally_ crazy' and nod.

John wondered if he should just get out of the sleeping bag, because now at least he had an excuse. "I'll just," he said, starting to open up the bag, but Rodney put a hand on his.

He looked less surprised now. "You remember that question that Ronon asked me on that mission where you tripped over your own two feet."

As if he could forget it. John nodded.

"I have," Rodney said and John thought he might be flushing. It was cute. John's heart beat faster. "I mean just handjobs and a few blowjobs. You know, a helping hand."

And yes, John did know. He knew exactly what Rodney meant. And he also knew what he _didn't_ mean. It wasn't as if he had expected for Rodney to feel the same. Hell, he _knew_ Rodney was straight, some buddy fuck moments in the past notwithstanding.

John nodded.

Rodney's gaze wandered to John's lips.

God, he shouldn't be doing this. They were friends and sex—even a one-night-thing on a different planet—would just make things complicated.

But when Rodney leaned forward and his lips parted, John was unable to stop him. _Just a kiss,_ he thought. Their lips met and for a moment it was just a bit of pressure until somewhere inside of him something else started and Rodney opened his mouth further and John could only kiss him back and move his arms around him.

~~

He had no idea how he could have been so blind. Not because of Ronon's harebrained scheme. How was a reasonable person to assume that this set up would equal matchmaking? Not even Sheppard proclivity not just for men, but for him specifically. He certainly hadn't seen that coming, but really, who could look into Sheppard's mind? No, what brought him up short was that he'd managed to spend the last four and a half years not realizing that he was in love with John.

There was the guy thing, sure, but since he'd been having sex with guys and maybe had a crush or two, this didn't come _entirely_ out of the blue.

And there'd been signs, Rodney could see now in retrospect. The way he felt when John was in danger was one. It wasn't just the general compassion and fear, it was a stabbing...something, that gripped him by the throat. He hated seeing John in the infirmary. He avoided it if at all possible.

And, God, he'd been jealous. There hadn't been a woman that John had looked at that Rodney hadn't disliked. He didn't have to know them, the fact that they were flirting with John (and he with them) was enough. Which should have told him something.

On top of all of that was how John made him laugh and how they spent so much of their free time together and how John made him play video _golf_ and...

He couldn't believe that Ronon had been right. They would really have to thank him. But first they needed to do something else.

The kiss was amazing and it made him tingle down to his toes. John held him in his arms, which was nice, but Rodney wanted to feel skin. He started to push at John's shirt and John froze.

"I don't think it will be too cold," Rodney said. "At least not for long," he added with a grin.

John smiled a weird little smile while his eyebrows were crunched in a frown. Rodney would have asked him about that, but he was too busy pushing off John's shirt. He dove in for a nipple as soon as he could.

John was hairy and warm and this was amazingly hot. Rodney ran his tongue over the nipple and John's breath caught. Rodney sucked it in and John moved his hands away from Rodney's back. If John wanted to play too that was good. Rodney struggled out of his shirt. Okay, pants would be really difficult in the sleeping back, but then maybe it would be enough to just push them down.

The thought of that made Rodney kiss John again. He pushed himself against John until they were rolling and he landed on top of John—which suited him just fine.

He kissed down John's jaw and nibbled there for a moment, while his hands tried to map John's upper body. He kissed further down until he reached a nipple again. Sucking it in he spread his legs as far as the sleeping bag would allow, straddling John's erection. He quickly opened up his pants and pushed them down enough to free his cock. Then he did the same to John and finally rubbed himself against John, their erections touching.

Oh fuck, this felt great.

He looked up at John. John had lifted his arm over his eyes. He was breathing heavily, but other than that he didn't do anything, and it suddenly occurred to Rodney that John hadn't really touched him. He'd kissed him _very_ enthusiastically, but everything after that...

Rodney didn't want to believe that he'd read this wrong. Also, if John didn't want this, he would have stopped him a long time ago. He couldn't for the life of him imagine that John was a virgin to gay sex, which only left... maybe he just didn't want to do this with Rodney. Maybe Rodney was really bad at it. Maybe John didn't actually like his nipples sucked on, although he'd squirmed against Rodney when he'd done it.

"Rodney?" John looked at him now and he looked so serious and not at all like he was about to have sex or _wanted_ to that Rodney moved up and away from John, so that at least their dicks weren't touching any longer.

"We don't have to do this," he said.

John swallowed. "Yeah."

Rodney's heart might have broken just a bit in that moment. It had only been such a short time that he'd realized he loved John, but it already felt like he'd lost something huge. He tried to pull his pants up, but it wasn't as easy as pushing them down. "Oh, fuck," he complained.

"Let me help," John said softly.

But Rodney couldn't take it. "I don't need your pity!"

"Pity?"

"Let's just not... It's bad enough to find out that you're in love with your best friend only to be rejected without _discussing_ it."

"In love?" John stared at him.

"Yes," Rodney said unhappily. "I might be inexperienced or really bad at having sex with a guy, but that doesn't meant I can't feel anything for yo— one. And you could have just told me no by the way. I know that you kiss practically anyone, but for a moment there I'd thought you felt the same. I was obviously— hmgh."

John's mouth was on his and Rodney was confused and still a bit annoyed but he couldn't help kissing back because it felt so good.

John's hand went to his ass and pulled him close and he thrust up at the same time.

Rodney thrust back and opened up his mouth. When John kissed his way to his ear, he panted, "Do I need to understand what's going on here?"

"You're not _that_ inexperienced," John said, quirking his mouth before going back to kissing Rodney's neck.

"John," Rodney insisted.

John looked up, more serious now. "I do," he said.

Rodney frowned.

"Feel the same," John clarified.

But then he... John kissed him again, deep and wet. He felt the same as Rodney. He was _in love_ with Rodney.

They started moving together. Rodney rolled them around until John was on top of him. He ran his hands up John's back and held onto his shoulders, thrusting up against him, rubbing his hard dick against John's stomach.

John pressed down on him, giving him friction, blanketing him. Rodney tried to spread his legs, but he couldn't the way his pants were gathered around his thigh.

"John, I..."

John moved a hand between them and started stroking Rodney.

"Oh God." Rodney started thrusting into John's hand.

"So hot," John breathed into his ear.

In answer Rodney turned his head and caught his mouth again. His own hand sneaked between them to close around John's dick.

John groaned into his mouth and he started to thrust into Rodney's hand.

Their hands touched and collided until John pushed Rodney's away and clasped both their dicks. They became a moving, panting mass. Rodney could feel nothing but John above and around him. John's mouth didn't stand still, one moment on Rodney's neck, then playfully biting his shoulder, mouthing his jaw, licking his earlobe and then back to kissing his mouth.

All through this they thrust against each other and into John's hand and it was fantastic and Rodney was so hard, he was going to _explode_.

"John," he gasped.

"Yes, Rodney," John said encouragingly and stroked Rodney's dick especially firmly and Rodney thrust up and froze and shuddered his release between them.

John stroked him through it and then he ran his fingers through the mess on his stomach and stuck them in his mouth, sucking it off. Rodney's dick twitched and he grabbed John's dick and jerked him off, watching John's tongue as it licked.

"Kiss me," he demanded and John complied immediately, pushing his tongue in Rodney's mouth and thrusting a few more times before coming as well, groaning into Rodney's mouth.

They rolled onto their sides in the sleeping bag and they were sticky with sweat and semen, but Rodney had never felt better. He leaned his forehead against John's shoulder as John was catching his breath.

Eventually they pulled away and looked at each other. John smiled. Rodney smiled back.

"So what was that exactly, and I don't mean the sex?" Rodney clarified before John could play dumb again.

John's smile faded a bit. "I thought this would be just another 'helping hand' to you and that wasn't what I wanted."

He wanted more. Rodney knew it. "We'll continue this when we're back," Rodney said. It wasn't a question.

"I hope Ronon doesn't forget us here," John joked.

"We should thank him."

"Yes," John said leaning forward for another kiss. "We really should."


End file.
